How to End a Separation is a Complex Mission with Many Possible Issues
You are now asking how to end a separation obviously because you want to reconcile with your partner and make the relationship work for both of you. Your mutual agreement for the separation may have been one of the common reasons like 1) a cool-off period to think things over about yourselves and about the future of your marriage 2) it was easier than asking upfront for a permanent dissolution 3) you just wanted some space and this was fast with the least conflict. But now your efforts are for reconciliation and you want to push toward making a fresh start for the relationship and for your family.
At the moment you may be at a loss as to how to move toward a reconciliation. The many challenges that still lie in wait before a full-fledged reconciliation happens can seem too daunting to even contemplate and, hence, you may get discouraged and back away. But you should not be because only the brave make positive changes in their lives and we all know that reconciliation will require changes and personal courage. With that being said, we suggest the following steps in how to end a separation and start reconciliation.
Let Your Spouse be Your Partner in Determining How to End a Separation
Just as it takes two to get married and then to be separated, it also takes two to reconcile – a relationship is a joint endeavor. As such, you should ask your spouse if he/she is amenable to your plans for reconciliation and willing to proceed with the discussion
Your spouse may be reluctant at first but if he/she gives you a “maybe”, then you have hope. If the answer is a “yes”, then you can start on your mutual reconciliation plans. If the answer is still a “no”, then you must wait because a forced reconciliation is absolutely not one of the best ways how to end any hopes of getting back together forever..
How to End a Separation = Develop Your Personalized Reconciliation Plan
You need to be prepared if you get the green light on a possible reconciliation. You should develop your reconciliation plan simply because each marriage is as unique as the two individuals who are in it. And each aspect of the plan should have contingencies or fall back options if your spouse object to a particular point you don’t want your whole plan to fall apart. Then you and your spouse need to sit down and discuss both of your reconciliation plans. At a minimum your reconciliation plan should include the following matters:
• Acknowledgement of the roles that each one of you played in the development of the marital problems that lead to the separation. But don’t go into the blame game mode because you may well find yourself back to square one. Just acknowledge your roles, apologize sincerely and then move on as soon as possible.
• Ways that each one will gain back the love, trust and respect of the other. Even in the case of marital infidelity, the faithful partner should also try to regain the unfaithful partner’s feelings. Ending a separation is always a two-way street, which cannot be overemphasize.
• Set the ground rules for future discussions especially on the touchy subjects of whatever caused the separation in the first place. These ground rules should include agreeing to disagree, avoiding hurtful words and fighting fair, which will require another article to discuss this in depth.
Of course, you both must recommit to the marriage. This can be verbal, although many couples will recommit by putting the reconciliation plans in writing and then signing the plan. Others may even go to the lengths of repeating their marriage vows in front of close family and friends.
The whole point of the abovementioned ways on how to end a separation is to effect to bring about a long-lasting reconciliation where both parties are able and willing. You will find that love for the female is, truly, lovelier the second time around. But for the male respect ranks above love – more about that later.