There are very few things in life that can top the emotional pain, mental anxiety and financial difficulties brought by divorce especially when children are involved. There was once a time when your spouse was the greatest person in your eyes and you made a commitment to each other for a life within the institution of marriage. But because we are all human and flawed all married couples go through hard times in their relationships and you will not be spared no matter how much you wish it to be otherwise. But before thinking of divorce at you owe it to your spouse, your children and yourself to investigate how to save the marriage.
How To Save My Marriage – Start With Forgiveness
Many couples have made the mistake of dredging up their ex-spouses’ past mistakes. They dwelt on these mistakes too much, thus, exposing their unwillingness to forgive and forget. In order to avoid a painful divorce, both individuals in the marriage must be willing to forgive (not the same as forget) the past, focus on the present and move forward into the future. The meaning of true forgiveness lies in setting aside the other person’s actions that led to your emotional pain. Keep in mind that the act of forgiveness does not mean losing to the other, disregarding your emotions, and being the weaker person. Forgiveness means being able to let go of the pain, let the love in your heart take its place and thus be a stronger person for it. Instead of playing the blame game, focus on how to save the marriage from a painful divorce.
How to Save My Marriage – Communicating Expectations
You must also set realistic expectations for your marriage even before walking down the aisle and saying your “I dos”. Both you and your partner will have expectations (sometimes un-communicated expectations) of what the marriage should be like and what is to be expected in a relationship. However, life does not always work out the way we initially envisioned it to be and marriage is no exception. Your ideals of marriage as opposed to its realities can cause marital conflicts sooner or later. So ladies, if your spouse was a die-hard football fan/couch potato on Sunday afternoons before your marriage while you are a die-hard shopaholic during the same time, you should be realistic in acknowledging that habits die hard. Yes, it will be nice to have a companion on your shopping sprees but don’t expect too much. How to save my marriage includes managing your expectations and is one of the most effective ways on how to save the marriage.
How to Save My Marriage – Make a Commitment to Honor Your Marriage Vows
Married couples that learn how to forgive, manage their expectations to fit reality and work together on the ways how to save the marriage become successful in reaching their goals. We cannot overemphasize that it is never too late to work on improving your marriage as a whole and your relationship in particular. Thus allowing you to be true to your lifelong commitment made at the altar, so to speak. Before jumping into divorce proceedings, you should make a commitment to save your marriage and put a second life into it.
There are other ways on how to save marriage including opening your lines of communication, asking for professional help from a marriage counselor and getting the support of your family, among others. The most important thing is that you are trying because only through positive action will you succeed.