How to Solve Problems in Marriage

How To Save My Marriage

Most, if not all, married couples will ask the all-important question – how to solve problems in marriage. It is understandable that all marriages will have problems of one sort or another considering that no two people are alike and, thus, disagreements will arise even when two people are madly in love with each other.

How To Solve Problems In MarriageDo you want these problems to get in the way of your happy marriage? Instead, you can turn problems into positive influences on your marriage by knowing how to solve them in a good way. When I say in a good way, I mean solving your marital problems with your spouse in the mutual understanding that you both want to make your marriage work and make your relationship stronger.  Also, the problem should be resolved so it does not keep continually coming up.

There are several approaches to problem solving but I suggest following. These steps in how to solve problems in marriage, which have been adapted from a more general problem-solving approach. Since marriage is one of the most important aspects of life, then it is critical that you find and use a problem solving approach that works for both of you.


Identify the Problem is the First Step in How to Solve Problems in Marriage

Your first step is to identify the problem.  Now this sounds pretty simple but it is not yet it is the most critical step.  And by this I mean you need to get to the basic problem not just a symptom of the problem. If you don’t get to the real problem then you are spending time discussing the wrong thing.  It may be a small annoyance over one another’s quirky habits or a big sense of betrayal over an extramarital affair. No matter what it may be, you and your spouse must pinpoint the problem.

For one thing, you obviously will not know how to solve problems in marriage if you fail in identifying them in the first place. For another thing, identifying the problem helps in keeping your focus on it and not just a symptom of the problem.

How can you identify the problem? Sit down with your spouse and then engage in an honest heart-to-heart talk with each other. It may take many talks before you can flesh out the problem but just talking without fighting with each other is a good start.  And keep in mind that all of us are selfish and this impacts many, many things we say and do.

Another recommendation is only work on one problem at a time.


The Next Step in How to Solve Problems in Marriage is to Define the Goal

Then, you must define your goal. Ask yourself questions like: What do we want to achieve in the marriage? What do we need to change so that our marriage can survive and then thrive despite this problem?

Of course, your ultimate goal is to resolve the problem. You can, however, make smaller goals like being more compassionate toward your spouse, show more love toward her or demonstrate more respect for him.


Next, Outline the Possible Solutions and Consequences

This is called brainstorming. You and your spouse will ask questions like:

• What can each of us do to resolve the situation and avoid its recurrence?
• What positive outcome will we have if and when we adopt the possible solutions?
• How should we go about implementing the chosen solutions?


Adopt and Evaluate the Critical Final Step in How to Solve Problems in Marriage

Once you have chosen the best solutions for the identified problem, you can proceed to adopt them. It will not be easy, I can tell you that, because a successful marriage requires work by both the partners. And if your solution does not work the first time revise the approach and try again (and again). In the end, fortunately, the results are worth the sacrifices and hopefully that will give you encouragement and get you going.

How to solve problems in marriage is a process not a single activity and requires commitment to your partner to make the relationship work harmoniously.


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